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Kona Coffee in every bag

There are only two things in this world that are guaranteed, death and taxes. Well, now you can add a third, Kona Coffee in every rub that we offer. Finding only the greatest Kona Coffee isn't easy, it often looks like Indiana Jones finding his way to the Temple of Doom. Kali-ma!


Coffee is a natural tenderizer, the acidity breaks down the meat like a 200 pound bodybuilder emotionally melting when playing with a puppy. This allows for other spices to penetrate the meat like stuffing a closet with junk when unexpected company rings the doorbell.

Free shipping over 50

If you're in 'merica then shipping’s on us.  So load up your cart with over $50 worth and you'll automatically get free shipping at checkout.

100% Satisfaction Guaranteed

If there's a problem, yo, we'll solve it.  We stand by our products 100%, no ifs, ands, or butts.  We'll take it back and refund you in full.  No questions asked, up to 60 days later.

About Us

Just like the life-saving invention of penicillin, we started out as an accident.  Flash forward from 2011, we have rubs and a mission.

Say whaaaat?!?

Join the rub club, it's as free as air

If someone told me that I have the ability to sign up for free to get special access to new arrivals, EXCLUSIVE swag, and special offers from Absolute Aloha, I would say that person is a Magical Wizard! Fortunately, you don't need a wizard to tell you something you already know, unless he’s selling magical beans. If he’s selling magical beans, let us know, we are in the market for them.

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